A preview of The Search for Animal Chin and its endless glory:
Skateboarders and Tony Hawk fans in general (just about everybody else) might remember this iconic reference to the “The Search for Animal Chin”(1987), a skateboard movie from Stacy Peralta's "Bones Brigade" (The OG skateboarding team) movie starring most famously the young and daring Tony Hawk – classic skate flick, of course.
Many people might consider the message to be a rallying cry for patriotism in the war on terror and the living, breathing iconic face of Osama Bin Laden without prior knowledge of this silly relic from the birth of a skateboarding counterculture, lifestyle and as an artistic expression
Hopefully the ignorant liberal hippies will suggest it’s brainwashing capitalist/republican/televangelist propaganda without recognizing the parallels between stories nor getting the reference at all. One can only hope......
Since I didn’t feel like doing a recap on the plot of Animal Chin, here is a synopsis I snatched from Wikipedia (search for “The Search for Animal Chin”):
"The Bones Brigade travels around California, Nevada, and Hawaii to different skate spots in search of a wisened old man, Won Ton "Animal" Chin. The movie is of the old-school nomadic, skate-everything-in-your-path genre with interludes of stopping to rip-up a big ramp, pool or kicker. After much searching and skateboarding, they locate a large ramp in the desert. They also find a Chinese character on the inside of the ramp's spine. They conclude that in searching for Mr. Chin, they may have found his spirit."
I drew a parallel between Animal Chin and America's "War on 'Terror'" which both had the initial objective of missions to find a secretive and elusive man (one an enemy, one a hero). As it seems, Animal Chin is a man having an equal ability to disappear as King Terrorist, Osama Bin Laden.
As we enter the third third world country (Libya) to implement corporate restructuring and permit abuses incredulously intolerably within the boundaries of the United States (on paper), Americans seem to have forgotten their original objective of capturing of America’s Most Wanted enigma. And as the Bones Brigade became distracted by all the skateboarding and partying in their search for Animal Chin, the United States Government seems to be running into similar issues.
The point is: The "War on 'Terror'" (or whatever absurd P.C. term is used today) and the search for Bin Laden has kept the American army jumping from country to country in a perilous search just as the Bones Brigade jumps from skate spot to mega ramp in search of Chin: neither men have been found to this day.
Just like the war we seem to only find signs that Bin Laden had been staying in one cave, the sign of Animal Chin stands within the secret tunnel in the middle of a super ramp in the middle of nowhere: the race of elusive men must all reside in this place (in nowhere). They of course are nowhere to be found because that is where they all live.
A fallacy in the parallel exists: When the boys realize they’ll never find Animal Chin and that they’d have to settle for the inspirational aid of his spiritual form, they embraced it and took skateboarding to the next level, populazing the sport/art and creating physical social entertainment for generations to come They accepted the warm embrace of Animal Chin’s spirit within their hearts with the knowledge that they would never be able to push around with the man or pick his brain for “trick tips”. They had no intentions to shoot him in order to absorb his mysterious skateboarding super manna. They didn’t say “fuck it” and start idolizing some other asshole just because he’s the most lucrative source of income for the members of his group of friends or team.
Americans never had a chance to accept that they’d never find the arch enemy of stuff, gender equality, cotton candy, Jesus, [the pursuit of] happiness, business, pork products and booze -the American Dream(no wonder the government freaked out so much about it. I’d bet a thousand butterflies that Cargill, the number one privately owned multinational corporation in the God Damned/Blessed United States) probably is pretty bummed that the Muslim religion doesn’t permit a viable market for the many addictive ingredients theypeddle (modern agriculture is of course neither nutritionally beneficial for humans nor conducive to proving the environmental situations unfolding around us). So why not turn the other cheek like "good Christians" should? Michael Jordan (religion aside in regards to MJ) has retired from basketball, what say we remember the glory days, go to the games just to watch, and ice our injured limbs before we self destruct.
And now
A pessimistic look at where the competition for status and pursuit of [the result of a chemical reaction in the brain] begins spiraling into a state of chaos and destruction like every other known system in the universe:
And one forgets about one’s mortal enemies to one’s beloved nation under [a human construct] because one looks no further than into one’s painful existence where one celebrates in silence as one hears the cries of his neighbor from across the street while attempting to pile 18 kids into a “flex fuel” stretch HummerCraft ™. As it turns out, one’s spray painted the neighbor’s lawn metallic pink just so that one’s lawn might be greener than the neighbors’ at least once before it turns into a web of crabgrass and maze of rodent and snake tunnels as it dies due to dehydration. For the past 20 years one has overwatered the damn lawn incessantly (more to get the hell out of the house as one’s awesomely pathetic position as Team Leader at AWESOME FREEZE DRY DEEPFRY restaurant in the local strip mall has yielded little capital for one’s God fearing (and of course consistently tithing the first whatever absurd, disturbed, and ignorant church is offered locally) a corporate latter to climb… downwards…into whichever mythological eternal torture facility awaits.
Animal Chin and Osama Bin Laden both silently wait in this facility for this or any (every human at this point in the future) poor, overworked soul to come and learn about nothing, in a place called nowhere, where nothing matters but nothing. Animal Chin still skateboards while Osama Bin Laden wonders why he isn’t having pillow fights with the barrage of tweeny virgins he had so easily convinced the eager and dutiful soldiers of Allah who were to be waiting for them upon their arrival.
Sadly an unbiased approach places Animal Chin and Osama Bin Laden on the same tier of excellence in leadership and inspiration. Osama Bin Laden had inspired (an applicable number of relevance to what I’ll say following the end parenthesis) of Muslims who have chosen the right prophet to be stoked on and manipulated by. How many American’s can say that they were as truly happy as a man who truly believed he was destroying the enemy to a precious, sacred and chosen people that had it worse off than the spawn of the spawn of Satan’s stool samplings. A man who loves to skateboard that dies on their skateboard is probably just as happy as this dutiful Muslim man (not condoning this kind of behavior, j.t.l.y.k) as he melts in a fireball of glorious martredom, fossil fuels, and the blue shit-water on commercial jets.
Seems everywhere you look it’s the same shit.
